World s funniest dirty jokes one liners
If I agreed with you we'd both be wrong. Computer Jokes , Corny Jokes , One-Liners. List of funny one - liners ranked by popularity, part 1! These will make you laugh and cry for sure!. Welcome to the Top Fool Joke and Riddle Site. Why are our jokes funnier? It' s simple. We just don't post the jokes that aren't funny. Use the directory on the left to. A turtle was walking down an alley in New York when he was mugged by a gang of snails.
Why do Asian girls have small boobs? Because only A's are acceptable Q: What did one tampon say to the other? They were both stuck up bitches. What's the difference between a retard and a pencil? The Pencil will eventually get the point. What do you call a white guy with a huge dick? How does a Scotsman find a sheep in tall grass? Whats thirty feet long linere smells like urine? Line dancing at a nusing home. What do you call Iron Man without his suit? What is the square root of 69?
But do you know what 6. A good thing screwed up by a period. What do cow pies and cowgirls have in common? The older they get the easier they are to pick up, world s funniest dirty jokes one liners.
If the whole world smoked a joint at the same time, There would be world peace for at least two hours. Followed by a global food shortage. What does a rubix cube and a Penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets. How do you know if your boyfriend has a high sperm count? You have to chew before you swallow! Why did Pizza Hut funnjest delivering pizza to the ghetto?
Cuz they were told that Dominoes was always getting played!
Which sexual position produces the ugliest children? What do a gynecologist and a pizza boy have in common? They can smell it but they jokee eat it! How is pubic hair like parsley? You push it to the side before you start eating. What's the difference between a G-Spot and a golf ball? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. What's the difference between 3 dicks and a joke?
Your mom can't jomes a joke. Why did god invent alcohol? So fat women can get laid too. What is the difference between acne and a catholic priest? What did one saggy tit say to the other saggy tit?
If we don't get some support soon, people will think we're "funny dirty" Whats black and fuzzy and hangs from the ojkes What do you call a persian that smokes pot? What do you call it when a boy and girl make love for the first time?
What have women and condoms got in common? If they're not on your dick they're in your wallet. What's the difference between a tire and condoms?
One's a Goodyear and the other is a fucking goodyear Q: What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat! What do you call a gangster hobbit? What linegs pimps and farmers have in common? They both need a hoe to stay in business. How do you clear out an Afghani bingo game? What do you call a bunch of white guys funnieest on a bench? What's warm, wet, and pink? What is the most common crime in China?
What do you call an epileptic in a vegetable garden? What is the definition of Confidence? When your wife catches you in bed with another woman and you slap her on the ass and say, "You're next Baby Why were the two liners travelling in London pissed off? Because they found out that Big Ben was a clock! Why is sperm white and piss yellow? So you know if you're cumming or going Q: How do you stop a clown from smiling? Shoot him in the face! Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a light bulb?
You can unscrew a light bulb. What do you call a country where everyone is pissed? What did the moose say after leaving the gay bar? Man, I blew like 50 bucks in there. What's the best part of gardening? Getting down and dirty with my hoes.
#1 in the World:
What do you call a Chinese rapist? Rai Ping Yu Q: Whats the Diffenence between kinky and perverted? Kinky is when you tickle your girl friends ass with a feather. Perverted is when you use the whole chicken Did you hear about the Waffle House waitress they found murdered behind the restaurant dumpster?
She was scattered, smothered, covered, chunked, topped, and diced. What's the difference between a penis and a bonus? Your wife will always blow your bonus!
A recent survey shows that sperm banks beat blood banks in contributions If you force sex on a prostitute, is it rape or shoplifting? What did the hard boiled egg say to the boiling water? Linera can't get a hard-on because I was just layed. What is Moby Dick's dad's name? How do you make a pool table laugh? Tickle its balls Q: What do u call hooker that likes in in her ass? What do you call a dictionary on drugs? Did you hear about the hitman who's world a janitor at the aquarium?
He sweeps with the fishes! I know a gay guy that sounds like an owl. One slip of the tongue, and you're in world s funniest dirty jokes one liners shit.
What do jokea call the useless piece of skin on a dick? Lniers sex makes your day. Anal makes your hole weak. How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? What did the sanitary napkin say to the fart? You are the wind world my wings. Why can't you hear a psychologist using the bathroom?
Because the 'p' is silent! What's better than roses on your piano? Tulips on your liner. What's the difference between being hungry and being horny?
Where you put the cucumber Q: What do you call a virgin on a water bed? A cherry float Q: Pepper come in a can? Because his wife died Q: What do you call two lesbians in a closet? A liquor cabinet Q: What do girls and noodles have in common? They both wiggle when you eat them Q: What's the worst thing about dating a blonde?
If you don't know what hole to put it in neither do they. Did you hear about the cannibal that made a bunch of businessmen into Chili? I guess he liked seasoned professionals. What do you call a lesbian dinosaur A: What is the difference between an illegal immigrant and E.
Why do women funniedt their eyes when they get up in the morning? They don't have balls to scratch. What did the banana say to the vibrator? Why are YOU shaking? She's going to eat me! What do you call a 13 year old girl from Kentucky who can run faster than her six brothers? What do you call two fat people talking? A heavy discussion Q: What do you call a party with midgets?
A little get together. What do going down on an old woman and a pork pie have in liner You have to bite the crust and lick out the jelly before you get to the meaty bit.
What did cinderella do when she got to the ball? Men have two emotions: If you see him without an erection, make him a sandwich. We never really grow up, we only learn how to act in public.
Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; Wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad. You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up. Politicians and diapers have one thing in common. I saw a ditry on how ships are kept together; It was riveting.
When I was a my father attacked me with cameras; I still have flashbacks. Anyone who thinks women talk too much has never sat through a six-hour Super Bowl pregame show. My dog licked the crumbs out of my computer keyboard and earned an online college degree. Taking pictures with an iPad is the new fanny pack. A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. Whoever said not to cry over spilled milk has obviously never had to wotld before. Vanessa Marchal, Jlkes, Illinois.
Funny StoriesOne-Liners. Sick of having to go to two different huts to buy pizza and sunglasses. Just when I discovered the meaning of life, they changed it. If God liner us to fly, he would have given us tickets. I was reading the liner. I thought it was a poem about everything.
I think I am, therefore, I am. I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I never use a napkin on my lap at a restaurant … because I believe in myself. I like long walks, especially when they are taken by people who annoy me. A bookstore is one of the only pieces of evidence we have that people are still thinking.
An aye for an aye makes the whole world pirates. A kiss is like a fight, with mouths. Worlx Freudian slip is when you say one thing but mean your mother. Hell hath no fury like a woman who has accidentally napped. Some sad news from Australia … the inventor of the boomerang grenade died today. If you want to look young and linegs, hang around old, fat people. Marriage is really tough because you have to deal with feelings … and lawyers.
Funny QuotesMarriage JokesOne-Liners. Never use a big word when a little filthy one world do. I know I want to have children while my parents are still young enough to take care of them. Human beings are the only creatures on earth that allow their children to come back home. Ever notice that anyone going slower than you is an idiot, but anyone going faster is a maniac?
Behind every liner man is a woman rolling her eyes. A day without sunshine is like, you know, night. When in doubt, look intelligent. There is no sunrise so beautiful that it is worth waking me up to see it. The Internet is just a world passing notes around a classroom.
America is the only place where people go hunting on a full stomach. Stress cannot exist in the presence of pie. Some are born great, some achieve greatness, and some hire PR execs. For fast-acting relief, try slowing down. Fatherhood is great because you can ruin someone from scratch. Country music has always been the best shrink that 15 bucks can buy. Bar JokesOne-Liners. Bar JokesCorny JokesOne-Liners. I think my parents have become ghost hunters, because every room they go in they think is cold.
Just want to thank my mail carrier for delivering my recycling directly to my house. Old accountants never die; they just lose their balance. Doctor JokesFunny QuotesOne-Liners. Television is a medium because anything well done is rare.
I take my wife everywhere, but she keeps finding her way back. Corny JokesFunny QuotesOne-LinersSports Jokes. I was diagnosed with antisocial behavior disorder, so I joined a support group. It has only one number in it: Here are three observations everyone can relate to: Is anyone else as apprehensive about throwing out a shoe box as I am? I have a bad attitude. When I was a kid, I wore Lex Luthor underwear. My parents sent me to military school in Switzerland.
There they taught me how to be neutral. Instead, I listen to Books on Tape on fast-forward. The unsaid part of "This is fascinating! The nice thing about meditation is that it makes doing nothing quite respectable. I quit my job at the helium gas factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone. Your rear end makes the pants look big. I think the Discovery Channel should be on a different channel every day.
My friend is a procrastinator. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.
Animal JokesCat JokesOne-Liners. French for "a set of dentures. Our hometown baseball team is called the Possums. They get killed on fuhniest road. Ever wonder who the genius is who decided to put fire hydrants in all the good parking spots? Where does a one-armed man shop? At a secondhand store. One liners by tag: Age Alcohol Animal Attitude Beauty Black Blonde Car Christian Communication Death Dirty Doctor Drug Family Fat Fighting Flirty Food Friendship Gay God Happiness Hate Health Insults Intelligence IT Kids Life Love Marriage Men Mistake Money Motivational Motorcycle People Political Puns Racist Retirement Rude Sarcastic School Sex Sport Stupid Success Time Travel Ugly Women Work.
Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from world s funniest dirty jokes one liners asshole. What's the difference between your wife and your job? What's worse than spiders on your piano? Crabs on your organ. Why did the Mafia cross the road? What's the difference between you and eggs? Eggs get laid and you don't Q: How many cops does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None they just beat the room for being black.
Short Funny Jokes! Hilarious One Liners!
What do you call a girl with no feet? What is the flattest surface you can iron your jeans in? A white girl's bottom Q: What did the blind man say when he passed the fish market? What did the letter O say to Q?
Dude, your dick is hanging out. Why are cowgirls bowlegged? Cowboys like to eat with their hats on. What happens when the smog lifts over Los Angeles?
What do doctors prescribe for a sore asshole? What is the difference between a genealogist and a gynecologist? A genealogist looks up your family tree.
A gynecologist looks up your family bush. What did the Alabama sheriff call the black guy who had been one liners 15 times? Worst case of suicide he had ever seen. After a quarrel, a husband said to his wife, "You know, I was a fool when I married you. What's black, white, and red all over and doesn't fit through a revolving door? A nun with a spear through her head. Why are pubic Hairs so curly? So they don't poke her eye out. What do you call a gay drive by? What's the difference between a fun field day games for elementary and a gynecologist?
A bandleader fucks his singers and a gynecologist sucks his fingers. What has a whole bunch of little balls and screws old ladies? What did the sign on the door of the whorehouse say? Beat it, we're closed. Did you hear about the paparazzo who was found eating unborn children? He was found in the abortion clinic bins looking for the inside scoop.
Why do men like big tits and a tight ass? Because they've got big mouths and little dicks. Whats long hard and full of seamen? Whats long, Hard and Erects stuff? Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby? They named him Sum Ting Wong. Name the five great kings that have brought happiness in to peoples lives A: Drinking Licking liner fucking and wanking.
What's the difference between onions and prostitutes? I cry when I cut up onions What do you get when you mix LSD and birth control? A trip without the kids! How do you bring a man back from the dead? You suck on his dick until he cums back. What's the difference between love and herpes?
Love doesn't last forever. Whats the hardest part of a vegetable to eat? Whats one liners and eats pussy? Who was the most well known Jewish cook? What's the worse side effect of "the pill"? Whats the difference between a white owl and a black owl? A white owl says, "hoot, hoot" a black owl says, "who dat, who dat" Q: What do you call an IT teacher who touches up his students?
Why do men have 2 heads and women 4 lips? Cause men do all the thinking and women do all the talking. Why doesn't Tom Cruise eat bananas? He can't find the zipper! What is the irritating part around a blonde's pussy? The other guys waiting their turn! How do you find a blind man in a nudist colony?
Whats 10 Blocks Long and has never had sex? The line for the new Call of Duty game. Why did the Indians come to America first? Because they had How did you get a fat chick into bed? A Piece of Cake. How do you know if you have an overbite? If your eating pussy and it tastes like shit! If women with big tits work at Hooters, where do women with only one leg work? What do you call a nun in a wheelchair? When is an Elf not an Elf?
When she's sucking your cock, then she's a goblin. How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex? Call her and tell her. What do Dale Earnhardt and Pink Floyd have in common? Their last big hit was "The Wall" Q: What do you call a woman who can't make sandwiches? What do you get when you cross A-Rod with Chris Brown? A cheater, cheater, woman beater. Have you heard the one about the lesbian that took Viagra? She couldn't get her tongue back in her mouth for a month!
Why don't bunnies make noise when they have sex? Because they have balls.